5 Signs You've Become a Pickleball Addict

Look, we’re not here to judge. This is a safe space. A no-volley zone of emotional support, if you will. But it’s important to recognize the signs early. Here are five indicators that pickleball has completely taken over your life.

1. You’ve Reorganized Your Schedule Around Court Availability

Remember when you used to plan your week around work, family, and social obligations? Now you plan it around when the good courts are open. “Sorry, can’t do dinner Tuesday — that’s my 6pm open play slot.” Your family has learned to book time with you through the local rec center app.

2. You Own More Paddles Than Shoes

It started with one. A beginner paddle, borrowed from a friend. Then you “upgraded.” Then you needed a control paddle AND a power paddle. Then you found one on sale. Now you have a paddle bag, a paddle rack, and strong opinions about polymer honeycomb cores.

3. You’ve Used the Word “Dink” in a Non-Pickleball Context

“Honey, can you dink me that remote?” “I’m just going to dink over to the store real quick.” Your friends and family are concerned. Your coworkers have started a group chat about it.

4. Your YouTube Algorithm Is Permanently Broken

Where there once were cooking videos and cat compilations, there is now only pickleball. Pro match analyses. Paddle reviews. “How to hit a better erne.” Your Discover page is 97% pickleball content and 3% pickleball-adjacent sportswear ads.

5. You’ve Had a Genuine Emotional Response to a Dink Rally

Not just excitement. We’re talking goosebumps. Maybe tears. You’ve watched a 40-shot dink rally on YouTube and felt something deep in your soul stir. You’ve told someone about it afterwards, and they looked at you like you needed professional help.

The Verdict: If you checked three or more of these boxes, congratulations — you’re one of us. You’re a dinker. Possibly a heavy one. And there’s no known cure.